I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
accomplished twins. life is a go
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
