And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i think i have herpe
just one?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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