24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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