Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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