So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
