Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
