normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
