and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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