I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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