my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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