nut hugger
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
