I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
