guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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