This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
