WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
