im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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