yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
