Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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