That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
