God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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