My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
