don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
