"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
