Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
