New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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