he puts the penis in happiness.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
