grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize