yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
