Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
