God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just had sex on a roof
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
