another moral hangover. fuck.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
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I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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