I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
