can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
