if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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