When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
