I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
