Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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