You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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