So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize