Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
