why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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