Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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