No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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