Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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