actually, I'm a sock model
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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