Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
