there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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