Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
