if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
