I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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