The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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