Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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