***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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