Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
