I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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