You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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