I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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