he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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