Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
