He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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