I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
