She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
