So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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