i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dear god my vagina.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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